Contest: Zidane is Trapped

"Welcome to my humble abode." Kuja smirked as Zidane arrived.

"Just cut to the chase and tell me what the hell you want." The blond snapped.

"My, we are upset. But bear in mind that I hold your friends lives in my hands, so I think it's easier for you to remember that the more angry you are the more fun I have. So, do be calm. You see Zidane, I need you to fetch something for me. I'll let you take three of your friends with you... but the rest remain here with me, to ensure you co-operate. Does this sound agreeable?"

Zidane glared at him before delivering the reply.

"Not like I can disagree. What do you want and where is it?"

"It's an artefact known as the Gulug Stone. It should have been in a place called Oeilvert, on the Forgotton Continent. Alas, it is not there any more. But the good news is, it is in a place far more accessible... to you. I doubt I am a popular person in Alexandria...."

"All right, so it's in Alexandria. It shouldn't be that hard. You need this thing, you've already got Garnet, why not just hold her hostage so the castle hands it over?"

Kuja, however, smirked again.

"I never said it was the castle that held the artefact. You see, there are a number of establishments for soldiers, retired or otherwise. Sort of regimental clubhouses. These places have a sort of covenant with the government that they will never be forced to hand over anything but criminals to the government for any reason... Quite a boring and complicated old thing that means they don't pay taxes on the booze basically, but for us, a problem."

Zidane might have been brash, but he wasn't stupid.

"One of these places has the Gulug Stone."

Kuja smiled and nodded.

"Correct. To have the Alexandrians break that covenant just will not happen. The army would sooner rebel than take that item out of the place. I also doubt they really want it known their Queen has been kidnapped. Again. So, it falls to more underhand methods for us to fetch this item."

"Alright, so I steal it. Sounds easy enough."

Kuja simply smirked again.

"Perhaps. I recommend you take the knights. The rusty one and the ratty one. You're free to choose who goes, except for Garnet. That canary shall remain here. "

Zidane growled.

"Fine. Just tell me where to go, how we get there, and then let us go."

Kuja produced a small piece of paper.

"The address of the club is written here. I'll give you ten days. It takes two to travel back to Alexandria, so that's a generous time to be able to break into the place.You'd like it, I imagine. It's ladies only...."

---

Zidane had then been asked to select his companions, and went for Steiner, Freya, and Eiko Steiner was Alexandrian, and a soldier, so probably would be of use. Freya was a soldier too, but Burmecian. Eiko was a skilled enough White Mage, and a few spells for sneaking in would be handy.

On the ship, he explained his plans.

"Okay, now, I need to get in there with my own eyes to see how to break in and out with the stone. You three would be the best backup if things go wrong, but Steiner's local knowledge is what I really need hoping things go right. Freya, maybe they'll let you into the place...."

"Doubtful, but I think I have an idea about that." Freya cut in.

"I also have an idea. We can seek aid from General Beatrix. If I am not mistaken she has magical powers able to disguise Freya as a human, and in addition the General would likely be able to enter this establishment herself. She will understand the needs to uphold the covenant, and to keep this matter covert."

Freya nodded.

"That was my plan. Beatrix is pretty good with that spell."

"What do I do then?" Eiko asked.

"Easy. Assuming we can get Freya in, you'll be using Mini on me so I can sneak in with Freya, or Beatrix if it really comes down to that.  From what I could tell, the soldier's club is in a part of Alexandria that hadn't been too badly damaged when Kuja attacked."

Steiner nodded at Zidane's words.

"I think that is correct."

"Odds are most of the usual clientèle will be there late at night just now, maybe busier than usual. That's perfect for us sneaking in, more of a crowd to blend in with."

"Wouldn't less people make it easier?" Eiko questioned.

"Not really, Lady Eiko. Less people means that strangers stand out more." Steiner explained.

The young summoner seemed to accept this.

"So, that's the plan. We can get in, take a look, then figure out what we do next. We'll run it past Beatrix, and then we move as fast as we can. Agreed?"

The other three nodded.

---

In Alexandria a couple of days later, a problem emerged when they met Beatrix in the castle.

"...There's a strange thing about this club, Steiner. Any spell you use is nullified. Including statuses like mini, or that one to disguise Freya. Even Vanish won't work. You'd just be visible the minute you got close to the club." Beatrix reported.

Zidane groaned.

"So there's no way in for us at all?"

Beatrix thought for a moment.

"Well, there is one way.  You see, no one is really sure why that seems to happen, but it doesn't cause any problems. What they did discover was that if you used a magic potion, not a spell,  that worked."

Freya frowned.

"Those potions last for days at a time though, and they need to wear off naturally. And they're not exactly cheap and easy to get your hands on."

Beatrix simply smiled.

"We're in Alexandria Castle. We've got well stocked apothecaries and chemists here. Getting the potions are no problem if you don't mind a few days of humanity, but the potions offer us another option..."

"Oh?" Zidane said with interest.

"You see, there's a potion that can help Zidane get in. There's no vanish one and none for shrinking, not a safe one at least. But.... Let's just say it can overcome gender barriers."

Zidane was quick to join the dots.

"Wait, you want to turn me into a girl?! For days?!"

"Well, you'd get in..." Beatrix began, but Zidane was adamant.

"No way!"

"Come on, what have you got to lose, Zidane?" Eiko protested.

Steiner stifled a laugh, as did Freya. Even Beatrix held back a snicker.

"What have I got to lose?! Eiko, you know the differences between boys and girls? THAT is what I've got to lose."

Freya tried not to laugh as she spoke.

"Zidane, I'd be losing my tail with this plan. You're losing something much smaller...."

She failed, causing all but a puzzled Eiko and a mortified Zidane to burst into laughter.

"Oh, thanks, Freya! Way to make me feel better about this idea!"

Between chuckles, Beatrix spoke.

"Well, Zidane, that would just make it a lot easier. You want in there yourself, well, there's a plan B.  And to be honest, you as a girl would still be a problem because of your tail. Your one at the back, I mean. That would risk giving you away as something unusual. You'd have needed two potions, and, well, I think you'd have been female and tail-free for over a month."

Zidane screeched in horror.

"A month?! No way in hell! What's this plan B?"

Beatrix grinned.

"Well, you see, this soldiers club does allow men in sometimes. But only if those men meet certain criteria. Namely, that when they're there, they don't act as men."

"Basically you need to dress as a woman to enter as a male." Steiner cut in.

Zidane stared at them.

"...It's the only option for me to actually get in there, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." Freya said.

There was then more laughter.

"I hate you all." He groaned, holding his head in his hands.

Then a thought hit him.

"...How come Rusty knew you had to dress as a woman to get in?"

"Well, this establishment was not always females only. In fact, it once was open to all serving soldiers. The idea was the place was for the soldiers to meet and speak. Spouses would stay at home or go to their own bars, but were free to come with their wives if they really wanted. Male relatives could also be invited, but no boyfriends." Beatrix began.

"But, er, around fourteen years ago there was an incident or two involving a flirtatious young soldier, some annoyed husbands, and.... the end result was given the husbands were generally in the tavern across the street in the first place, there were no objections from them from having to follow a policy of crossdressing to enter. Including relatives, but they also opened the policy to allow in boyfriends. Apparently a few soldiers use it as a test of loyalty. If a man will do that for them, then odds are they really are interested in the woman." Steiner then cut in.

"I see. Who was this young soldier?" Zidane asked.

"It is of little importance..."

"I'm curious now, too. The only males in the Alexandrian army are in the Knights of Pluto and most of them seem... Rather young to have been there fourteen years ago." Freya noted.

Zidane processed this.

"Wait... You mean Rusty was a ladykiller back in the day?"

Steiner made no comment. Beatrix made one instead.

"So they say. Fortunately he grew out of it as he became a loyal and dedicated servant of the monarchy."

"So did his beer gut from the look of things... Did you work as a taste tester for a while?" Zidane muttered.

"In fact, I did. I was the King's personal bodyguard for a number of years afterwards."

"...Oh."

"Anyway, since we know how Zidane can get in... how about we get that potion ready for Freya and go get the disguises?" Beatrix said.

"W-Wait! I need to make sure you don't get anything too weird!" Zidane protested.

"Oh, but you need to come shopping anyway, Zidane. We need you to try it all on..." Freya leered.

"Ah, yes, I recall another thing about this club. Does it not prefer the male visitors to wear the most feminine articles possible?" Steiner remarked

"Why yes, Steiner, it does." Beatrix confirmed.

"...So what do I do then?" Eiko wondered again.

Freya and Beatrix exchanged a look.

"Well, you can help us shop for Zidane. After all, I'm not an expert on girly things, and I doubt Beatrix is going to be much better versed in the world of frilly things and lace..." Freya replied.

Zidane just held his heads in his hands, in total despair.

---

The potion was easy enough to get. Zidane refused offers of the other potions, deciding one night dressed female plus a few days without a tail was better than a month as an actual female without either tail nor other parts. After all, he'd still need the clothing no matter the gender. Freya was no longer a Burmecian, but a Human. She still looked like Freya to an extent, being a slenderly built woman, with long white hair and blue-green eyes. But she now lacked her tail and her grey fur.

Beatrix began to speak, as Freya displayed her discomfort at changing species by fidgeting. Zidane had been warned his tail-removing potion might make him light headed for a few hours, and he felt it. He leaned on a wall as Beatrix spoke.

"Okay, so, fortunately for us many of the dressmakers in town were also unharmed by Kuja's attack..."

"Lucky us." Zidane muttered.

"...So dresses are easy. I'll get myself something as well, and Freya might want something different too. I just dye my hair blonde or red to disguise myself, I can do that without magic. And a bandage over my eye won't confuse anyone. Fake soldier ID for me and Freya, also easy.  Steiner can get them."

Beatrix paused.

"Hmm, Zidane, it occurs to me another problem. They also demand the male wears feminine underwear. Are you okay with that?"

"W-What?! You mean I've got to completely crossdress?"

"Yes. And again, try to have it as feminine as possible. They sometimes check..."

Zidane seemed about ready to faint in horror.

"But don't worry! We'll get you a nice long frilly dress! Oh, and we're going to need you to be a bit bustier. You're not the most feminine of shapes up there..."

Zidane promptly did faint.

"....I have a feeling you're making some of this up, Beatrix." Freya confessed, as Eiko giggled her head off.

"Of course we are. They don't check and they don't demand it's frilly. It's just funny to let him think that's the case. Now help me wake him up."

---

Beatrix soon had her hair dyed red, and Freya had also opted to dye hers blonde instead of white. Zidane was dismayed to reach the shops far sooner than expected. The shop they selected knew of the club, and the amused woman keeping till bought the story Zidane was Freya's little brother being

"Okay, Eiko, you go look out some dresses. Nice shoes too. Maybe even pick out a wig?"

The young summoner nodded.

"I'll make sure Zidane looks the most girly man in all of Alexandria!" She said enthusiastically, causing the blond male to start choking.

"Hm, what about these, Zidane?" Freya suggested as he recovered. He turned to face her.

He began coughing again at the sight of the very lacy blakc stockings and the very silky looking  very silky suspenders, plus similarly black and silky corset and underwear.

"I can't wear those!"

"Sure you can, Zidane. You're quite lightly built. These should be just your size."

Beatrix agreed.

"They're perfect for him. Try them on while I pay for them, Zidane."

The male sputtered.

"What?! Here?"

"No, in the changing room, you fool. Freya, you keep an eye on him while I go see what Eiko's found..."

Zidane reluctantly entered the changing room, as Freya passed in the garments. He was horrified to learn that they indeed did fit, going on with little trouble apart from a little tightness in certain areas. And a lack of it on his chest, but a new horror was approaching on that direction as the curtain was yanked aside. Zidane yelped in horror and tried to cover up, still unable to get the corset on and reluctant to seek assistance, but now from the waist down, dressed only in women's underwear.

"Good news, Zidane! We've got you a fake chest!" Beatrix said, showing far too much pleasure in this claim for a general supposedly able to best hundreds of knights single-handed.

"Oh, that's wonderful! Did you have to barge in like that?!"

"Yes. Freya thought you were taking too long. Oh, another thing, we have you some cologne, and we'll help you with eyeliner and lipstick, but for now, Eiko's found some dresses...."

Zidane's eyes widened in horror as Freya held aloft a number of very shiny or frilly dresses.

---

In the end, Zidane had tried to take the most dignified. This meant he was now, to anyone who looked, a blonde woman in a silky blue dress, that came down to just below her knees. This was still far too short, but his initial first choice of a darker blue cotton dress turned out to have a skirt that was even shorter. She lacked makeup, and also had long hair thanks to a wig, surprisingly close in shade to his natural hair.

He was convinced Beatrix had done the corset tight to try and give him a more feminine figure. But this wasn't the end of his horror.

"I think you look good, Zidane. Or Zidina?" Freya mused. She now had a red dress, and likely more. She also lacked any makeup at this point.

"Yes. But we need to finish the deal. It's not long until that club opens, after all. So what we need... is the makeup. And fake eyelashes too! But all that is easiest to get back at the castle..." Beatrix said. She now wore a black dress.

"Okay, okay. Let me change first..."

"I said it opens soon. We need to go as we are. Oh, I'm sure we can also fetch some nice jewellery. Tiaras, earrings.... You've got pierced ears, I'm sure we can get you something lovely... "

Zidane only heard the part about walking through the city of Alexandria like he was. And fainted.

"...He needs to work on the fainting. Not very ladylike." Eiko commented.

"No, it isn't. Still, he looks the part. And that wig has stayed on very well. We might even just be able to pass him off as a tomboyish woman who hates the fact she had to dress up, really..." Freya noted.

---

The walk back had been uncomfortable. Not least because it seemed every single male they met looked over what seemed to be three attractive women. And Zidane had convinced himself most of them though "she" had been the most attractive. The high heels hadn't been a problem - even with his tail temporarily gone he found he had a very good sense of balance. Certain spots were a little too tight, of course, especially since Beatrix had also obtained a groin protector from somewhere that was keeping things in order.

And the makeup process hadn't been much fun either, even if it had only lasted half an hour, and his light-headeness that had caused the fainting spells (or so he would insist) had faded. Looking in the mirror, he had been alarmed to see just how feminine he had looked once makeup was applied.

"Beatrix, are you sure you never slipped me that other potion when I wasn't looking?!"

She shook her head, amused.

"Zidane, the  dose you'd need is of such a large quantity it was impossible for it to be given unwillingly. Besides, you haven't drunk or eaten anything. And you'd notice the taste. It's a very oily and metallic flavoured potion.

Even the discomforting tightness at a spot assisted by his one item of male clothing or equipment hadn't made him inclined to fully believe her.

"At least I'm not going to be hit on by a guy in there..." He muttered as Beatrix and Freya escorted "her" to the club.

"Just remember you're doing it to save the others. And we can figure out how to stop whatever thing Kuja has planned with this Gulug Stone." Freya tried to reassure "her".

"If this thing isn't even there, by the way, I swear I'm going to murder you both then go and kill Kuja myself."

Beatrix tutted.

"Threats of violence are very unladylike, Zidina."

The club was near, and hopefully, the end of his troubles was not far off. Entering did not even result in a challenge from the bouncers, even if the two of them gave Zidane an amused look as Freya spoke to them.

It was indeed quite busy. A few soldiers remained in uniform, but most had come here to let their hair down. The dressed-up trio did not look out of place, the mix of formal, casual, and working wear in the crowd meaning practically anyone female could blend in. But all of them were soldiers, and it seemed there were no other males present at all. Even the staff were all female.

It had a bar, seemingly well stocked, and numerous tables. Zidane honestly wasn't too surprised to see card tables, a dart board, and pinball machines. The Table Tennis was a little bit surprising at first, but then he realised that no matter the gender, a pool table in a place frequented by soldiers was asking for trouble. In short, it seemed to him like a regular bar or club, just filled only with women.

Ordinarily access to such a place would have been high on Zidane's list of dreams. Today, and how he had entered, it was a nightmare.

'I just look around, find this Gulug Stone, figure out how to break in and steal it later, and we're done. ' He thought to himself, trying to ignore that horrifying realisation.

"Come on, let's get a drink first. I'll buy the first round." Beatrix offered, as Freya found a table to sit at.

Somehow, he hadn't been shocked to get a cocktail with a confusingly flowery name and scent. He drank it, noting that even though it was fruity, it also seemed to have a sort of oily texture and metallic aftertaste....

"...Wait. Beatrix, that potion..." He whispered.

To his horror, the general giggled.

"Bad news, Zidane. I lied."

He felt just as light headed as earlier in the day.

"It's actually a more bitter aniseed flavour."

He felt himself relax even as his heart still pounded at the terror of thinking she'd slipped him the dreaded potion.

"So, there's no way you could actually slip that potion into a drink?"

Beatrix shook her head.

"Not unless you were a complete moron and would drink an entire pint of aniseed flavoured beer that had turned pink, no. You need a quarter-pint of the stuff to have an effect. Combined with your tail remover, you'd have needed a half pint of the stuff."

"A pity. I always wanted a little sister." Freya mused.

The two females descended into giggles. Zidane gave a fake laugh, before taking another drink.

'Now I just need to remember. Avoid, avoid, avoid anything pink and aniseed flavoured for the rest of the night just in case. Or maybe the rest of my life....'

He glared at Freya and Beatrix, the pair still giggling like schoolgirls.

'And avoid ever hanging around with these two ever again once I find that stone and how to come back to steal it.'